Shirking ourselves
and finding ourselves in poetry; a process of working in rehabilitation as a therapeutic poet.
'running away from myself my whole life'
shirk /ʃəːk/ verb
shirking
1. Avoid or neglect (a duty or responsibility).
Dear Family,
I'm known as the 'Spoken Word' girl in the rehab settings I work in. Though this isn’t a label I chose for myself, I believe it makes poetry more palatable and relatable for the community. For many, poetry is separated from comprehension by its term; its noun creates a barrier before engagement with it. It's an art form introduced to us as something that needs understanding, analysing or deciphering, but the truth is a poem doesn't exist without writing. It's an act of expression, a sighting of the inner world, like a lens for the soul that allows you to go as wild as you like with language.
Joelle Taylor said in a Poetry in Performance course at the ARVON in '22 that as poets, we must write as if behind the 'lens of a camera', that poetry aims to capture a moment, idea, relationship or feeling worth documenting. It's an image, in words, an alternative picture for an alternative interest. It's the ability to write imagery that makes a collection of words a visceral poem.
The thing is, in a workshop setting, saying to a room full of rehabilitating addicts, 'Act as the photographer of your life, but use words instead.' doesn't sell me as an approachable facilitator or introduce poetry as an accessible place to roam. Spoken Word, however, is a much gentler bridge to poetry pasture. It’s words, spoken. It’s speech, on the page.
'comfortably numb.'
Poetry as intention
The intention of my sessions is to create self awareness with poetry as the emotional photographer. I bring poems and prompts to curate understandings and expressions of the dis-ease, dis-satisfaction, anxiety, relational trauma and grief that chases us into the arms of numbing substances over and over again. It isn't that we're writing poetry as such, though this is always a happy consequence of the work; we're borrowing its many forms to ignite a sense of awareness in ourselves.
We tend to Shirk away from complicated feelings and, in the process, Shirk ourselves, splitting off into a fabricated reality in the escapades of emotional neglect.
In session, we write what we want to say, what we're not saying, what we wish we had said, what we were silenced from saying, or what we would say out loud in conversation in response to a prompt. In my sessions, then, a workshop is more about capturing what you want to say to understand how you feel. The writing itself documents your voice; the side effect is witnessing the feelings we run away from in active addiction. Poetry becomes a safe place to do it, even if it is sold as a 'Spoken Word' session. Your words make up a picture of your inner world. In writing, you exhibit that inner world and make it something to look at rather than feel.
Introducing therapeutic poetry practice
At the beginning of each session, I introduce myself and the practice. I want to create a sense of accessibility and comfort for the work. More importantly, I need to initiate relationships with the group to develop trust, and support their engagement with the poems. It goes something along the lines;
Poetry is everywhere: in songs, films, quotes, adverts, eulogies, weddings, and celebration cards. It isn't an art form isolated to the upper classes; everyone uses it at some point, namely the moments of most need.
Spoken Word, Folklore, Tales, Sayings, Song and Language came way before the writing of poetry. Whatever you want to say (with your mouth in response to the poems) is worth writing.
You do not need to be creative to write.
Poetry is the greatest documentation of the human heart - Billy Collins.
Here, we read, reflect and write what we see in the poems I bring.
I will guide you through journalling for your well-being.
I will guide you in creative expression.
You have the freedom to ask me a question at any point.
You do not misunderstand my prompts, nor are you uneducated if you feel lost.
If you feel lost, say it out loud. Someone else will feel the same, and your bravery will help the whole group.
We use poetry to find ourselves and hopefully grow self / emotional awareness.
You don't have to know anything about poetry to take part.
You don't have to be a 'reader' to take part.
You don't have to be able to spell.
The more I learn about poetry, the less I know what a poem is.
Come with an open mind and listening ears.
My experience is my life teamed with a love of poetry and helping people.
Writing poetry helped me through times of crisis, grief and trauma. It was so undeniable an act for my mental health that I've made a career trying to help others with it, too.
Your feelings, your messiness, your vulnerability, your strength and your grief are welcome here.
A simple poetry workshop
This week, I ran a basic workshop that required barely any planning. In the boot of my car, there are always two big shopper bags of poetry books, paper, pens, prompt cards, and a handwritten journal of exercises I've collected over the years.
The first thing I did was ask the group to finish the sentences;
I've been running…
I am arriving…
I'm chasing…
This gets them into the facet of presence. We are so burdened by our inability to be present with ourselves due to our insatiable need to chase the future and run from the past. It's the biggest killer of creativity. Writing against these prompts shines a harsh light on our avoidance and forces an arrival with self, the group, me and the most importantly, the poems.
The second thing I did was throw a load of poetry books into the centre of the room. Diane Di Prima, Allen Ginsberg, Otamere Goubadia, Shane McRea, Louise Glück, Kaveh Akbar, Rona Cran, Kae Tempest, Abiodun Oyewole, numerous copies of Poetry Review and a few anthologies including Being Human and The Book of Major Poets.
I presented each book, giving the context for each collection with an author introduction to give them a sense of what they might like. Then I asked;
Pick a book that speaks to you.
Go through the contents and find a title that speaks to you.
Go to the poem and find yourself in the poem.
If you can't find yourself, try again. Change the title or the book, or ask me, and I will prescribe a book for you to explore.
Once you find or catch yourself, write a reflection on what the poem shows you of yourself;
"Why does this poem speak to you?"
"What do you see of yourself in the lines of the poem?"
The group shares (no pressure).
Pick the line that jumps out at you from the whole poem.
Give it to the person on your left.
Finally;
Write your own piece on what you found in yourself in response to the line gifted to you by your peer or,
Write a gift for your peer in response to your understanding of the line they gave to you.
The option at the end is a way to give people a chance to breathe after finding themselves in the poem. It can be startling to witness yourself in another person's poem. Nervousness at feeling 'seen' is entirely normal. If they want to go deeper, they can, but if they can't face it, they can write something on behalf of another, which;
Helps them experience another perspective of their inner world.
Helps them feel a sense of relief by passing the part of themselves onto another to translate.
Helps them feel held with common, like minded language.
Helps develop a sense of empathy between peers.
When writing on behalf of one another, they tune into each-others lived experience and express emotional validation in the process.
Here’s a few examples of writings from the group. The short poems I’ve selected offer a glimpse into the awareness participants cultivate through biblio-poetry therapy.
Participant Poems
This is our time to dance in the sun.
After ‘The End of the Beginning’ Abiodun Oyewole, Branches of the Tree of Life, (2 Leaf Press)
Waiting flock hovering above. Feel weakness in my wings. The strength of others gathering Silently as if they sense my sense. I regain my further strength Rejoicing in the waiting flock. Memories of my mothers worms Warmth softly thrush through My spirit. I regain my breath For the journey ahead. Heart beats fast, free, wide winged spiritually Communal in just one breath.
“I want!” “I want!” “I want!” is there a truer prayer?
After ‘I want’ Otamere Guobadia, Unnuterable Visions, Perishable Breath (Broken Sleep Books)
I'm struggling. I'm struggling. I'm reading it over and over. Am I being selfish because I was never brought up to say I want? I'm unsure the belief and meaning of prayers. Should I believe. Should I not? I question myself. This is my downfall? Questioning myself. Questioning my worth.
By now it is too late to wonder
After ‘For Blake’ Diane DiPrima, Pieces of a Song (City Lights)
Wonder if I am doing the right thing. Wonder if I made the right choices. Wonder if it is ever too late. Everything is possible if you put your mind to it. Wonder if I made the right choices in life or in relationship. Wonder if it's too late to change things. Wondering how to move on in my journey in life and recovery.
Is being held prisoner by your skin
After Louise Glück, ‘Night Thoughts’ Winter Recipes from the Collective. (Carcanet Press)
My sentence is now over. My freedom is now mine. A sense of finding my self. Run the hot tap and shower all that away. Fresh towels, sweet smelling creams. Soak into what feels like something being left tired and uncared for. Feel the safety of my fresh clothes against what now needs love, caring and I've got through, served my sentence. It walks with me. It is me. My sentence is over.
Thank you so so much for taking reading my practice. Every eye on my work is supportive. Please share with poets, practitioners, therapists and people who would benefit from creative expression.
Take care,
H x